Nice, shiny new blog. It got me thinking of the time when I was new to unschooling. And with the recent media interest in unschooling, more and more people are curious, so I thought writing a bit about the process of learning about unschooling would be apropos.
What are some of the questions that are typically pondered when people begin to explore unschooling? There are some questions I’m asked over and over by people who are interested in our educational choices. Assuming the questioner is sincere, here are some of the short answers I’ve given to start them thinking along unschooling lines.
Why short answers? Because in my experience, long answers usually go too deeply into the topic and cause listener to tune out and/or forget the question they started with. If they are still curious and want to learn more, they will ask more questions!
Question 1: How will they learn if you don’t teach them?
Answer: They enjoy figuring things out and I certainly help them with any questions they have.
What unschooling ideas does that answer imply? That learning is fun; that people like to understand things; and that the parents are supportive i.e. the kids aren’t left alone to sink or swim.
Question 2: How will they learn what they need to know if you don’t follow a curriculum?
Answer: Well, curricula just try to lay out skills and knowledge they think a typical person would need to live when they graduate into the real world. We just flip that around: we live in the real world now and the kids pick up those skills and that knowledge along the way.
This answer could spark thoughts in so many directions: the purpose of curricula, and schooling, for that matter; the idea that learning is separate from the real world; the question of whether curricula might include things that the person might never need to know, and vice versa, might a person need to know something that wasn’t in the curricula; whether one-size fits all curricula are a useful answer to the diversity of lives students will be living, and more.
Question 3: If they aren’t in a school with other kids, how will they learn how to get along with others?
Answer: They meet lots of people, over a wide range of ages. Instead of gathering in school based on their age, they meet up with others around their interests, in person and online. Girl guides, karate, message boards, family.
Questions this might spark: What does socialization really mean? Is the age-controlled school environment really a decent preparation for getting along with the range of ages found in the real world? Is meeting over shared interests more apt to grow meaningful friendships rather than being the same age and living in the same geographical area? Are online friendships also meaningful?
Question 4: If you don’t test, how do you know they’re learning?
Answer: I don’t have a classroom full of kids and I’m hanging out with them much of the time. I see them using new skills as we go about our day, we have conversations and I hear them using new words and sharing new ideas, and I see where their learning is taking them as I help them dive into their interests.
This might encourage the questioner to think about things like the purpose of testing; whether testing is a function of class size; how one observes learning; and if testing is the only way to judge learning.
The Deschooling Process
For the parents, deschooling is the process of digging deeply into your beliefs about education, about learning, about living with children. It’s about exploring those beliefs–pulling them, pushing them, flipping them on their head–and seeing what you really think.
Learning about unschooling isn’t like learning in school. It’s not “learn this, do that, and move on.” It isn’t a one-time endeavour, it’s a process. You’ll likely read and research and reach some sort of understanding you’re comfortable with. Then, as you spend time with your children, being with them from your new perspective, you’ll see those ideas in action, blossoming in your interactions with your children, deepening your understanding of unschooling. Wonderful! But don’t be complacent. Chances are, if you take some time to dig deeper you’ll have another aha moment. And another. Just like you’d learn about other interests. The more you know, the more connections to related things you’ll discover, and the more you know. It’s a wonderful circle of living and learning.
And it doesn’t stop: living and unschooling with your children continues to be a process. Even as you gain a deep understanding of unschooling, your children will grow and change, and your thoughts, ideas, and way of interacting with them need to keep up. And as they get older, new situations can trigger pockets of beliefs you hold that have yet to be examined.
As a bonus, the open and questioning way of thinking that allows people to wrap their head around the concept of unschooling, gives one a frame of mind that is so helpful for processing anything that life brings.
If you’re new to unschooling and are still curious after these short answers, feel free to ask more questions in the comments!
Anne Ohman says
I Love This. So Much.
Question 4: The TRUE beauty, to me, is how my children’s real-life learning goes well beyond any knowledge or experience *I* hold/had held… that right there shows me that there is no way one person can “teach” another what they *might* need or *test* another’s knowledge. Human beings get what they need/desire for that which has meaning in their real lives. It’s a beautiful thing, and testing is not only a ridiculous concept, it’s quite insulting to the perfection that real learning IS.
pam says
So true, Anne! Testing takes the ownership of the knowledge out of the learner’s hands, makes it less personal. Through the content and organization of the questions, a test still organizes the information in one way, the “right” way from the curriculum’s POV, not necessarily the way the information makes sense to the learner. Tests are not at all about the student and the learning, they are about the teacher and the “proof”.
Dorla says
I struggle with unschooling every day. My son is almost 10 and for the last two years we have visited a few curriculums and had periods of unschooling. But I am a teacher and planner by trade and I cannot seem to wrap my mind around unschooling. What about multiplication? What about science? What about grammar? If these things do not occur naturally in our home, should I introduce them?
Hoping to learn more from your blog…
pam says
Hi Dorla, I’m glad you took the time to comment. 🙂
It can take a while to begin to understand unschooling, keep trying! Read about it, contemplate what you know about real learning, watch your son in action when he’s engrossed in a favourite activity.
Looking at your questions, here’s an idea. Instead of thinking directly about multiplication or grammar, think about what those skills are useful *for*. As your son is busy living and pursuing his interests, he will bump into these skills and pick them up along the way. Not in a “Mom, I want to write well, can you show me what grammar’s all about?” way, but in the middle of an activity. He’ll read others’ writing in books, or online, depending on his bent. He’ll read well-written stuff, and some not so much. He’ll see the difference. At some point he’ll probably want to communicate with others in writing: online message boards, email, facebook, birthday cards. “Mom, should I be using ‘your’ or ‘you’re’ here?” “‘You’re’ because you mean ‘you are’ and that’s a short way to write it.” And he moves on to accomplish his real goal. Grammar isn’t the goal, the writing is.
The question of “if these things do no occur naturally in our home”, is likely more about how you’re looking for them. If you’re looking for “grammar” and “multiplication” you probably won’t see your son asking about them. But as I outlined above, expand how you’re looking for them, look for activities that *use* those skills, and I’m pretty sure you’ll find them. 🙂
I’ve written a couple articles that touch quite a bit on the idea of seeing the learning in every day activities:
http://livingjoyfully.ca/unschooling/articles/articles
Namely, Whose Goal is It, Anyway? and Unschooling Passions.
Also, if you’re interested, I have just published a book, Free to Learn that goes more deeply into my journey of learning about unschooling and discusses the kinds of questions you’re posing – I certainly asked them myself! You can get more info about it here:
http://livingjoyfully.ca/books/
Keep learning and asking questions, it’s worth it! 🙂
Grace says
Hi, would you mind re-linking the above article link – I also tried to find “Whose Goal is It, Anyway?” in the search box, but it didn’t work.
MANY thanks, I appreciate the time you take on your site!
Best wishes – Grace
Pam says
No problem, Grace. Sorry about that!
unschooling articles
🙂
Jenny says
Great post! I would love to be more of an unschooling Mom. However, I struggle with how the heck will I keep records and document what is being learned in each subject? MO requires so many hours in the main subjects.
pam says
Thanks, Jenny!
It’s true, homeschooling laws vary by state or province. The best way to learn how unschoolers comply with their particular laws is to find an unschooling group or list specifically for your state. Here’s one where you can meet some Missouri unschoolers and ask what they’re doing:
http://familyrun.ning.com/group/missouriunschoolers
I know they are doing it! Here are a few ideas on how you might document learning:
– keep a scrapbook;
– have a box to keep any papers of your child’s stories and art, flyers and brochures from places you visit, photos from activities and/or of creations that aren’t permanent etc.
– write a blog full of pics and stories of what you guys are up to;
– or less publicly, keep a diary of what you’re up to etc.
I took a peek at your blog and, for example, you have lots of fun details and pictures from your recent Florida vacation! It’s a matter of you translating the tons of learning that I’m sure happened into any “educationalese” documentation that your state requires – without letting it interfere with your day-to-day living. You can be the buffer, understanding that your child is learning tons through living life, and translating that to meet your state’s documentation requirement. You may want to write daily, or keep a calendar where you jot down activities to keep a record and then document them, however more fully required, on a weekly, monthly, or quarterly basis.
Have fun with it! 🙂