Last week I explored some of the fundamental differences between unschooling and school. But even if it sounds interesting and makes some logical sense, it can be hard to loosen your grip on the notion that the basic skills still need to be taught: “Once my child can read and write, then I’ll be comfortable letting them follow their interests.”
It’s true that reading and writing are useful skills to develop—they are opposite sides of the written communication coin. Yet precisely because of that, children living in the world will bump up against them frequently. They will encounter real life reasons to learn them, which is both more motivating than just a parent or teacher telling them they should, and more effective for real learning because as they learn they’ll be actively using those developing skills to reach their own goals.
This kind of learning process differs from lesson-driven learning in a couple of key ways. First, there is no external timetable or schedule. And second, the definition of the skills is broader, just as the world is broader than the classroom.
This week, let’s dig into reading.
At school, teachers need students to learn to read as early as possible because it is an efficient way for one teacher to communicate with a classroom full of students. The educational system is designed around written communication—teachers use textbooks and worksheets to share information with students and test papers to assess progress—so it’s no surprise that it values early readers. It’s even more challenging for young kids because they don’t yet have much of a need for reading beyond school; their passion is active play. Yet children that don’t learn to read on the school’s timetable are sorted and labelled and judged inferior.
With unschooling, early reading is not necessary because we have the time to communicate with our children in ways in which they are already skilled. We can talk with them, we can interpret their body language and emotions—we don’t need to rely on reading. Our communication is rich.
At school, the process of learning to read is swept up in reciting the alphabet, phonics worksheets, and sounding out words. Young children are bestowed the label “reader” when they can make their way through early readers. And that’s just the beginning: they need to live up to it. They feel the pressure to continue to develop at the same pace as the curriculum or risk losing their badge of honour.
With unschooling, children are surrounded by the literate environment of the real world. They come to see the real value that reading has: dialog and directions in their video games; signs at the store to find their favourite food; stats on their game cards; websites about things they like; books and magazines filled with interesting information and stories. Yet that value isn’t held over their heads as some perverse motivation to learn faster: “Sound it out yourself!” Unschooling parents happily read things for their children until they are ready to take the task over for themselves. And learning is easier, and more effective, without that external pressure. Here’s an interesting observation I’ve made over the years: unschooling kids are more likely to call themselves readers once they are comfortably reading adult-level books. That’s what reading looks like in the real world.
As I mentioned earlier, the educational system is designed around written communication so being able to read is paramount to achieving success in that environment. Not being able to read puts students at a disadvantage in *every* subject. But without that constraint, unschoolers take in information just as effectively in so many other ways! You might find them watching videos (like documentaries, specialty channels, enthusiasts’ videos), engaged in hands-on discovery (like science centres, museums, zoos) or playing around on their own with just about anything (like computers, video game design software, musical instruments, cameras, exploring outside). In fact for many people reading is not the preferred, nor the most effective, way to learn new things. With unschooling, learning is not compromised for later readers the way it is in school.
The same logic follows for fiction: outside of the classroom there are many ways to enjoy stories beyond reading books. The world is full of stories being told through different mediums: TV shows, movies, comic books, board games, video games, plays, storytellers, audiobooks. I fondly remember many enjoyable hours reading aloud to my kids. Enjoying stories does not hinge on the ability to read.
There is a wide range of ages at which children are able to pull together the many pieces of the reading puzzle. Trying to superimpose lessons on the process implies not only that learning must be done on someone else’s timetable, but that the child’s interest and questions and personal connections are somehow not the “right” order in which to gather the pieces of the learning-to-read puzzle.
But don’t infer that not teaching lessons means that unschooling parents are hands off. On the contrary, we are very involved in the process. It’s just that instead of following a curriculum that walks students through one particular learning path to reading, we actively live life with our children. Words are everywhere. We read to them, we answer their questions about words—with direct answers, not impromptu mini-lessons. They may enjoy word-based games, or having the subtitles on while watching movies and TV, or following along in a print book while listening to an audiobook. Everyone’s brain is wired differently so the things that spark connections will be different. If they aren’t reading it’s likely because their brains are not yet ready for it. Guilt and pressure won’t make their brains make these connections and develop any faster. Fully exploring the world through their eyes will.
I wrote an article for Life Learning Magazine back in 2004 about my daughter’s journey to reading. Here’s a link if you’re interested: “I Can Read, You Know!”
Outside the classroom there are so many other ways to discover and learn about the world beyond reading. And in the meantime, later readers won’t feel like they’re flawed—they’ll pick up reading on their own timetable and just add that particular way of enjoying stories and gathering information to their already abundant repertoire.
... an online resource for parents wanting to live joyfully with their children through unschooling. If you're passionate about exploring the world with your children, this site is for you. I'm Pam Laricchia, the author and owner of this site. Thanks for inviting me along on your unschooling journey!
“unschooling kids are more likely to call themselves readers once they are comfortably reading adult-level books.” — so obvious when one sees it pointed out by someone else… My 10 year old keeps on saying “he can’t read yet,” which confused the heck out of me because as I see it, he *can* read… but, yes, he can’t read everything… Thank you for this insight, Pam.
You’re welcome, Jane! I had the same kind of experience. It really helps when we take a moment to look at things through their eyes, doesn’t it. 🙂
“unschooling kids are more likely to call themselves readers once they are comfortably reading adult-level books.” This phenomenon was worrying my mother-in-law, until I pointed out that adults use “I can’t…” the same way. I know just enough German to puzzle out a page or 2 of moderately complex text in an hour, with heavy reference to a dictionary and a grammar book, and end up with a muddled sense of what the text said and a headache. If you asked me, I would say “I can’t read German” because I can’t read it well enough to get what I would expect out of reading, whether it be pleasure or easy access to information.
That’s a really interesting observation, Kathy! It’s more about whether we feel functional in the skill in the world.
Thank you so very much for this article, Pam! It is precisely what I needed to find right now, or at this point in our own unschooling journey. My seven year son is the youngest of my four children. He is also the first (and only one) to be ‘homeschooled’ or with which I would have ever even imagined doing so. I have just recently been having recurring thoughts of guilt and shame over my son’s inability to read (or write) and needed to do some searching to find some ‘reassurance’ on the topic. I guess I just needed a little bit of reminding of ‘why it is that I’m doing what we’re doing in the first place’ ! Thank you again, you’re support it much appreciated!
Awesome, Lisa, I’m glad you found it helpful! 🙂
Another aspect of having the time to let reading skills unfold is that comprehension is gained/emphasized.
Comprehension (as in the public school checkbox) is the largest problem out there, I hear about it constantly from peers with school-aged children (with boys in particular). It’s at the expense of this obsession with decoding, that the real purpose behind reading is lost. Included in this loss is any interest or passion in reading, daresay life; it is systematically removed.
I came to this observation after grappling with the Waldorf teaching aspect of “delayed” reading instruction. It opened my mind to looking at reading instruction differently – a part of my path that lead me to unschooling.
My son is at a play-based kindergarten at a Waldorf school this year, but the plan is to remove him this fall to begin unschooling. Incidentally Pam, I can relate to you in another way, I too am turning my back on a well paying career to have a life worth living.
Take care & thank you for your blog posts, I appreciate them – Grace
That’s a great point, Grace! The point of reading is comprehension, understanding what the writer is trying to communicate. And when the focus is instead on skill development, that point is often lost.
Yes, it’s definitely a life worth living! And thanks, I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog. 🙂
Hi Pam!
Just wanted to let you know that I’m translating this blog post into French. I’ll let you know when it’s up on my blog. (I’m assuming you don’t mind 🙂
Bea
I don’t mind at all, Bea! Let’s put a link here in the comments when you’re done. 🙂
Here is the link to the French translation:
http://apprendreenliberte.wordpress.com/2013/03/22/apprendre-a-lire-sans-lecons/
That’s awesome Bea, thanks! 🙂
When we were still doing relaxed homeschooling, we had family readaloud time everyday. We read everything from the Little House books to Charlotte’s Web to A Wrinkle in Time. Now that we’re unschooling, I’ve been asking the kids if they’d like me to read to them instead of having a designated time everyday, and they’re not interested in being read to anymore. I’m a little disappointed because I love reading to them. I also worry a little about my non-readers because I believe that being read to is a huge part of learning to read. We go to the library at least once a week, and they always seem excited to pick out books, but usually once we bring them home, they’re untouched. I’m wondering if this might just be a temporary reaction to the fact that they now have a choice as to whether they’re read to (or to themselves) instead of me announcing that it’s reading time. I really do hope it’s temporary. I miss that time with them.
Hi Shelly,
I know, it can be disappointing when our kids move on from activities we have enjoyed with them. Maybe one or more of them might come back to it. Maybe not. I’d just be careful not ask too often, so you don’t move the question away from reading into a bit of a battle of wills.
Maybe look at the bigger picture. Yes, being surrounded by words can be a very helpful piece of the learning to read puzzle, but that doesn’t have to happen through formal read aloud time, with everyone gathered together. Think about the times you *do* read things for them, together or individually. Game directions? Websites? Their library books needn’t remain untouched—you could pick them up and read them yourself. Point out an interesting picture or story snippet to a child you think would appreciate it, which may not be the child who checked it out. Maybe someone will wander over and join you.
And connecting through stories doesn’t need to stop once they can read on their own. We love audiobooks around here. Joseph and I will listen to various books on our own time and then chat about them in depth: science fiction, books about writing etc. Michael and I listen to audiobooks together in the car as we drive to and from karate and trampoline. A couple days ago we started Death by Black Hole by Neil deGrasse Tyson. It’s an interest we share.
I bet you’ll find some really fun ways to connect with your children around words and stories. 🙂