You are the hero of your own story.
How I got here …
From bits and pieces and stories I’ve encountered over the last few years, I’ve come to imagine that the significant journeys of our lives may parallel the hero’s journey. And the unschooling journey is definitely a significant one! For the last couple of years I’ve been wanting to learn more about the hero’s journey and consider it in terms of my own unschooling journey. I’m very curious to see where it leads—if anywhere.
Yet life is busy (not full of busyness, but full of living) so I haven’t yet found time to follow this particular curiosity down the rabbit hole. Then last month as I was doing my year-end contemplation, it hit me: what about my blog? I already spend a few hours each week thinking and writing about unschooling here, why not use that existing time and process to dig into this? Yes!
My first thought was to fit it in as a monthly topic, but I quickly realized the posts would be super long. Plus I didn’t think a month was enough time to do it justice, to give it space to roll around in my mind, finding new and interesting connections to explore. Then I thought, this is my blog—it can evolve with me! Ha! So with calendar in hand and some scrap paper scribbling, I estimate that this will be a six month blog project / topic. Of course, I reserve the right the change it up if I find I have more, or less, to say as we get deeper into the journey. (See what I did there? The journey about the journey? This should be fun.)
So let’s get started with a touch of background.
The hero’s journey
Joseph Campbell analyzed countless mythological and religious stories from around the world and, in The Hero With a Thousand Faces, first published in 1949, outlined the commonalities he discovered between them. He called this the monomyth—the story, or journey, structure that underlies humanity’s rich history of stories. (The edition I’m using for page references throughout this series is the third edition hardcover, published in 2008 by New World Library, ISBN 978-1-57731-593-3.)
“It has always been the prime function of mythology and rite to supply the symbols that carry the human spirit forward, in counteraction to those constant human fantasies that tend to tie it back.” (p. 7)
Campbell describes these rites of passage as a death-birth cycle: death of an old way, conquered by the birth of something new. His point is that the symbols of mythology, the stages of our journeys, are not manufactured but are part of the innate nature of being human, part of our psyche. Though of course, there are infinite variations on the theme, hence the incredible range and depth of our stories.
That goes for our unschooling journeys as well: I’m sure there are many variations in our individual journeys, stages that some of us find more challenging, while we breeze through others, dependant on the unique set of experiences and perspective with which we start the journey.
And here we go!
The first five stages that Campbell defines make up the departure phase of the journey.
Exploring unschooling
The first stage is the call to adventure.
Our journey begins in our ordinary world. For many of us, that means a conventional outlook on education and learning: learning is the result of teaching; school is where trained teachers are; ergo, children go to school to learn. For others, homeschooling is already considered a viable option. They may even be homeschooling already, but still adhering to the conventional model of learning with teaching and curriculum. Others still may be living quite unconventional lives, but before having children hadn’t considered their perspective on education and learning.
We all start our journey from our own unique place. An individual perspective that is built upon our understanding of the world up to this moment in our lives. We’re reasonably comfortable here.
But then, something happens. Something unexpected that opens our eyes to new possibilities. As Campbell describes it, the call comes when the individual has outgrown some pattern of their familiar life. It marks a transfiguration, a spiritual passage. The herald, or “the announcer of the adventure,” (p. 44) may be a person or an event, but they are the harbinger of the journey to come.
It may even have been an ordinary event, but this time, it leads somewhere new. In fact, the herald is often an unlikely candidate for the job. Meaning not necessarily a person or event from the new world beckoning you in, but someone from your ordinary world who says or does something that, often inadvertently, sparks in you new level of awareness.
On the unschooling journey, it’s the moment when we realize that this way of learning is a possibility for our family. We decide to explore unschooling as a viable option. We have started down the path.
The call often evokes feelings of both adventure and anxiety. There’s the uneasy anticipation of trials to come, yet there’s also an inner glow of warmth and excitement. It feels like it might be a very good fit for your family. This might be “the answer” you’ve, maybe even unknowingly, been looking for. You feel the wonderful turmoil of choosing to move into the unknown: the call to adventure.
On my unschooling journey, the herald of my call to adventure was the head of the private school Joseph was attending. I can’t recall why we were meeting, or which of us had requested it, but we were discussing how Joseph was doing (we had pulled him from public school a few months earlier). I had come with a couple of printed articles and test results to discuss, and in the end she said “we’ll have to look for his gifts.”
When I left her office, I was elated. Finally, they were going to actually pay attention to him, to see him. But that evening I realized what it really meant: their environment didn’t allow him to shine either. If it did, they would have already seen the engaged and interested (and interesting) child that I see at home.
In my research leading up to that meeting, I had come across an article that had mentioned homeschooling—I hadn’t heard of it before. And it sounded intriguing.
Campbell also talks about how, when the hero is ready, the proper heralds automatically appear. I’ve noticed this throughout my life: when I’m ready for something, even if I don’t quite realize it on a conscious level, it soon appears. I don’t think it’s really the case of it magically appearing in the moment, I think it’s more that it was already there, but now I’m open to seeing it. Not just visually—we can “see” things without processing them i.e. background noise—but now I actually notice it, bring it into my mind to connect with other things.
A simple example that always makes me smile is cars. Driving around, there are lots of cars. I notice a few here and there, the odd Porsche or VW Rabbit that remind me of a couple of summers I spent as a teen at local race tracks, working pit crew and track cleanup. The amazing Batman replica car in town that I spot during the summer. But mostly, I just see cars.
And then we’re looking to purchase a car and we get a Kia. A what? I think at first. Then, all of a sudden, I notice how many Kias there are on the road. I see them in front of me at the stoplight. In the parking lot. On the highway. And I smile. Because I know that people didn’t suddenly start buying Kias en masse. They’ve been around me all the time. But it’s only now that I notice them. Just like when I bought my first car, a red Mazda 323 hatchback, and all of a sudden I noticed how many people drove red cars. Before that moment, they were just background noise.
I’m sure it’s not only me that happens to, so I just did a quick search. It’s a cognitive phenomenon called frequency illusion, or colloquially, the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. It’s the result of selective attention: our brains are great at picking out patterns, once we’re struck by something new. (If you perceive that these new-to-you sightings are new to the world at large, i.e. are signs of “overnight success” or an incredible deal at the local Kia dealership, that’s an additional process at work, confirmation bias, where your brain lends more and more importance to each new sighting.)
So it wasn’t until Michael was interested in karate that I started noticing how many dojos were scattered about. And when he began performance martial arts and stunt training, all of a sudden I more clearly noticed all of the stunt work in movies. What before was a fist fight on a TV show, became familiar moves I could distinguish.
And once I was exposed to unschooling and the idea that learning is all around us, with that idea now spinning around in my subconsciousness, when I looked around, all of a sudden I could see it everywhere.
All that is to say, I totally get what Campbell means when he says that when the hero is ready, the signs appear. They were already there. We’re just now ready to see them. 🙂
I think it’s helpful to note that these signs from the heralds are not typically blinding, immediately understood revelations. But as we ponder the meaning of these signs (as I did the real message behind the school owner’s remark) our curiosity about this unknown world we’ve heard of grows stronger and we may find our original, conventional world feeling “strangely emptied of value.” (p. 46) Our familiar activities can begin to feel less meaningful as we’re drawn to unfamiliar, at least to us, territory.
In our minds, this uncharted world seems to hold both “treasure and danger.” (p. 48) (Ha! This may explain why I’ve always been drawn to illustrating unschooling on my website as a treasure map! You can check out the original full map here.) We hear of the strong and connected relationships experienced unschoolers have with their children and it seems impossibly delightful. We hear stories of things they do, or don’t do, and it seems almost unimaginable. I remember when I first read about things like “no bedtimes” and “eat what they want” and I thought well, we won’t be doing that bit. Perceived danger.
Yet we are inextricably drawn to this world, and the one around us now seems strangely muted, and a bit uncomfortable.
This call to adventure signals a shift deep in our core.
Are you ready?
Your journey
If you’re inclined to share, as we explore the depths of the unschooling journey in the context of Campbell’s monomyth, I’d love to hear about yours in the comments!
Here are a few questions about the “call to adventure” stage to get you started:
1. What spurred you to begin exploring unschooling?
2. Was there a person or moment that heralded your call to the adventure of unschooling?
3. Or was it an internal shift that had you considering this new world?
4. Were you already homeschooling when something triggered you to explore learning beyond a curriculum?
Next stage: Refusal of the Call: Choosing to Commit to the Journey
I started homeschooling seven years ago. A friend had given me a typical homeschooling book describing the different styles of homeschooling. Unschooling instantly intrigued me. Playing house instead of social studies?? Looking for bugs in lieu of a science book?? I was amazed and thought that this was too good to be true. So I continued with unit studies for the younger kids and school at home with my 14 year old. The kids eventually returned to public school when I became burned out, but a couple of years later I really missed my kids being home, so I took them out again. I completely immersed myself in reading everything I could find on unschooling. I knew in my heart that this was what we needed but PA homeschool regulations are a bit strict, and while unschooling is possible, I was too nervous to go all the way, so we settled for a relaxed approach with math and language arts books here and there and the occasional preplanned activity. Finally, this past October, I happened across an article stating that PA had loosened its requirements…and that was enough for me. On a side note, it was during our Christmas 2013 break when I actually saw the possibility of it really working for my family when I witnessed the abundance of activities my children pursued on their own, with nary a direction from me!
Hope this wasn’t too long!
Not too long at all, Shelly! Thanks for sharing, I loved reading it. I can just imagine the interesting things your children got up to during that Christmas break! 🙂
We’re very new in our unschooling journey… We come from a montessori background, but when we were preparing to move across the country this past summer and looking at school options for my oldest son (going into 1st grade), we realized we couldn’t afford montessori elementary tuition and I wanted to avoid traditional school if possible… so I started thinking about homeschooling. It felt so overwhelming, but I had one very good friend who not only didn’t seem appalled at the idea when I brought it up, but encouraged me saying he’d often heard that it’s less work than most people expect.
I forget where I first heard of unschooling, but I immediately felt very drawn to it… partially bc I do feel that we all learn best when drawn by our own interest (montessori, at least in theory, is all about following the child’s interests and pace of learning), but also I will admit because I had no interest in having to force my kid through lessons from a curriculum (one of the reasons I didn’t wanna do public school was not wanting to fight with my kids over homework!). It just felt natural, like it fit us. I’ve met a few other unschoolers locally, but most of my learning about it has been through blogs and books… and I suppose these past 6 months of living it.
Thanks for sharing, Marcy!
I completely understand how unschooling felt like a natural fit—that’s how I quickly felt too as I explored the concept.
And I think living it definitely helps your learning. When I saw things that I’d read about unfold in front of my eyes, my trust in the process grew in leaps and bounds. It’s beautiful in action. 🙂
I love the relating the adventure of homeschooling to Cambells hero’s journey! We are new to home/unschooling and I can distinctly remember two pivotal moments that led us here. The first was a couple years before either of my kids were ready for school and I was perusing Barnes n Nobles, biding time with my babies and I grabbed a book off the shelf and it was all about “unschooling” a concept I was unfamiliar with. I bought it (a rare thing for me, I’m quite frugal) and was sold!
The second moment occurred this past September. We had been involved in an alternative, community school. I became dismayed after the awesome teacher moved to another state. A group of us were working on creating a new school. It was getting crazy and confusing trying to put together everyone’s ideas and I was beginning to think this wasn’t what was best for my kids anyways. So I asked my son what he wanted? And that’s the moment we decided that what we were doing already, just living and learning, fit us quite well. He was our herald I suppose. And it’s awesome! And now I tell people we homeschool because we can’t get to school by 8 o’clock every day ???? It’s an easier answer.
Those are great moments, Andrea! Thanks for sharing.
I love that you asked your son and that that conversation was the impetus to “just” continue living and learning. Also, I love that it’s awesome! 🙂
I am so excited about your blog post, there is something about being the hero of our own story that touches me to the core. I have wanted so much to have our home school experience be an adventure, a life long love of learning, a life style instead of school at home. It has seemed ever so challenging for me, I started with Charlotte Mason, loved the Waldorf education also spent some time with the Thomas Jefferson Education. Thought maybe I would mix them all together for my own style. But mostly it has just made me very tired. I have read some books about unschooling and have loved the ideas but felt so confused about how to actually apply it. I have been trying to find my own way instead of being tied to a method or curriculum, but still struggling with feeling like Im making any head way which is kind of scary as I am muddling through, time seems to be flying by and the children just keep getting older. : ) My daughter found my copy of the Teenage Liberation hand book and she has been wondering how we can try to use it in our lives more, expressing the same desires I have felt about wanting to create a more living education for our family. So perhaps my daughter is the herald bringing me back to the world of unschooling and the different life experiences that I have been going through.
Im looking so forward to more posts and reading more articles on your blog.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your adventure with us.
Jane
ps I hope this comment will make sense. : )
Hi Jane! No worries, it totally made sense. 🙂
And thanks for sharing where you guys are on your journey to unschooling. I love how your daughter was drawn to the ideas in The Teenage Liberation Handbook.
So cool that you’re connecting your different life experiences and the ideas behind unschooling. I hope you enjoy reading around my website, and if you haven’t signed up yet, you might find my exploring unschooling email series helpful too.
Have fun!
Just signed up for your email series. We are, literally, just beginning our adventure. I started reading about unschooling a few months ago trying to find something that will help our profoundly dyslexic daughter. The school situation just keep getting worse and worse. Unschooling sounds like aperfect fit for the way she learns and the way we live. I’m nervous and afraid I’ll mess something up. I told her she would have to help me stay on track and not be on her all the time to read, to practice math, all of the things I’ve been doing to try to get her to keep up with the public school demands. She loves to learn but hates school. I’ve yet to check out much of your blog, but looking forward to this journey.
Hi Laura, welcome!
And how wonderful that you’re starting out on your unschooling journey! It may be challenging at times, but I think you’ll find it very much worth the effort. 🙂
For now, maybe think of the next few months as an extended holiday. You guys can de-stress—hang out and fun together. She’ll have time to do all that learning she loves, and you’ll have time to learn more about the principles and ideas behind the unschooling.
If you have any questions as you go through the email series, feel free to hit reply on the email and get in touch.
Have fun!
Some interesting synchronicity in my life. After reading this blog post where you will examine similarities between the hero’s journey and unschooling, my book club has started reading a book called Sailing Home which examines the Odyssey as a metaphor for one’s spiritual journey. And unschooling in many ways deeply influences my spiritual understanding of the world and vice versa. I look forward to your future posts!
I love that, Rebecca! Unschooling has definitely played a strong role in my spiritual development over the years.
Have fun!
What great timing for this article! I have been homeschooling for 16 years. We have 9 kids-the first four being girls who homeschooled easily. Now I have 5 boys! What a difference. I just recently checked into unschooling because my 7 year old has no interest in learning to read so I wanted to see what the unschoolers do. Now I know and it makes so much sense! I wish I would have known this when my now 12 year old wasn’t ready to read at that age, either! Now that we’re taking a more unschooled approach our days are so much more enjoyable! I was really starting to have a bad case of burn out! I now see how much learning they really are doing-and they’re having so much fun! Also, I had never heard of Joseph Campbell before until watching a documentary about him yesterday!! I think that that and your article are huge signs for me!
Wow, those are some very cool connections, Julie!
It’s so interesting how much learning we see when we look at the bigger picture, isn’t it? 🙂
Beautiful parallel, Pam!
-=-I remember when I first read about things like “no bedtimes” and “eat what they want” …-=-
We were doing those things already, but figured the kids would go to school.
Kirby was four-and-some, and Marty was two. Kirby wanted to take a dance class. I found an art class I thought he might like. Both classes were sad disasters in different ways, and he only lasted two days in one, and the teacher gave him a one-on-one option in the other. I thought “Kirby will NOT do well in groups, in school.”
New Mexico requires kindergarten at five, but Kirby has a “late birthday,” so we *could* have waited a year.
In our La Leche League social-group, playgroup, babysitting-co-op, were two unschooling families and two school-at-home families. I knew the families well—knew their kids separate from the parents, at our house, and knew them WITH their parents at the weekly park group. The unschoolers’ lives were peaceful and sweet. The others…. neither.
Keith and I had THE cushiest beginnings for homeschooling EVER in the world, I think. We had families to be more like (and less like). We had a free year, because registering to homeschool kindergarten left us with these options: enroll Kirby in first grade the next year, enroll him in kindergarten next year (as though the homeschooling year didn’t count, or as though he “failed kindergarten”) or homeschool another year, if he still didn’t seem ready.
Within a month, we knew he could stay home as long as he wanted to.
Thanks, Sandra!
-= Keith and I had THE cushiest beginnings for homeschooling EVER in the world, I think. =-
Nice! Lovely that you had less conventional families around you to see in action. And cool that when Kirby and group classes didn’t mix, you guys thought “hmm, not a good environment for him,” rather than “we have to get him in more classes to get used to this.” 🙂
Hello, we are still new to unschooling. We started in October 2014. School was a nightmare for my first son who ended up quitting as soon as it was legal. So much fighting to try to fit into someone else’s “normal” , just destroyed his self esteem. I have to live with myself for my part in it; not only because he still bares the scars today at 21, but because I knew in every cell of my body that it wasn’t right, and forced him anyways and that there had to be another way!
So as the universe always gives you another opportunity, I was later blessed with 3 more beautiful sons to screw up!!! Lol
With the next in line we discovered ADD. Which had gone undiagnosed with my first son because they are introverts and daydreamers, so they were pegged as LAZY, manipulative and my favorite ” quietly defiant”.
School then turned into a constant battle of blaming us for not punishing him enough for not completing assigned work and to put him on drugs! Luckily this time I stood my ground for my child and slapped my previous sons experiences up at every chance. The PROBLEM here was not my children or my parenting, but a one size fits all school system that doesn’t fit at all!
I remember once being reprimanded by the school psychologist for choosing to spend our evenings together dancing and playing in our rec room rather then fighting with our son for the required reading. Choice seemed easy to me.
Needless to say it continued to get worse every year and after begging the new principal for a meeting and receiving no answer and having four situations where my son was yelled at for being lazy in less then the first month; I simply broke!!!
In utter desperation to save him from my first sons abuse I pulled out of our business as much as possible and made the decision that I would home school all my boys even if it killed me. I had no other choice.
I sat at the computer sobbing and typed in “homeschooling” and as the results came up I noticed “unschooling” in the list. And could not believe what I was reading! I sobbed some more, danced, giggled, and paced like a maniac waiting for my husband to get home so I could tell him!
We had the boys removed from school by the end of the week!
I still am gripped by terror at times that I am failing them in other ways by not having lessons. And fear of by “caught” by the big bad government for fudging their progress reports to the school board.
But that’s only 1% of the time. The other 99% sees their smiles! Their relief! Their gratitude that it’s over! And I’m trusting that in the months to come, there will be more and more moments, like the ones I’m starting to see, where they put down their iPads and look up at me with excitement, (mostly because they’re starting to believe me that I won’t limit iPad time ever again!), but with huge trusting excited eyes and ask what can we do today!!!!!!
I am so grateful for this blog! The book! This chance!!!! Thank you to all who share! Just know that when you do, you may be stopping an unschooling parents panic attack at that very moment!!!
With ALL of my heart!!!!, THANK YOU!!!! Xox
Welcome Susan,
And wow, what a story!
I love this: “And I’m trusting that in the months to come, there will be more and more moments, like the ones I’m starting to see, where they put down their iPads and look up at me with excitement, (mostly because they’re starting to believe me that I won’t limit iPad time ever again!), but with huge trusting excited eyes and ask what can we do today!!!!!!”
That image of trusting and excited eyes contemplating the possibilities of the day is beautiful! I bet that, as you continue deschooling over the next months, you will see those moments more and more. And that you’ll eventually feel less in competition with their iPads. 😉
Thanks for sharing, Susan. Sounds like your journey is off to an awesome start!
Happy deschooling and I hope you and your sons have a great time getting to know each other even better. 🙂
Hi Pam, firstly I want to say thank you for your website, the email series, and now this. It has all been very valuable and helpful on my unschooling journey. I live in Australia and am a Mum of 3 Daughters, they are 24, 17, and about to be 11. The 2 older ones went through mainstream schooling without any real problems. My eldest Daughter works as a Group Leader in an Early Childhood Centre, and has worked in Child Care since finishing High School (Year 12 here)… the second eldest has just Graduated High School and is studying to work in Early Childhood as well.
My youngest child however, is now an unschooler. We started our journey in March of 2014 after several years of me struggling to get her to school. For the first few years I thought it was just a bit of separartion anxiety and that she would eventually grow out of it. I can’t remember where we first heard about homeschooling but initially I decided straight-up that I was not a *Teacher*, and that I couldn’t possibly teach her all the things that she would need to know.
We went to The States for 4 weeks during January-February 2014 and so my youngest had missed the first 2 weeks of the new school year. When she started back she had a new teacher, a new room, and no friends, as everyone had already made their little groups, and she was not allowed to join in any of them. (Sadly, she and her best friend had been separated at the end of the previous school year because her Teacher then thought that it would help both of them to *grow*. Boy was that Teacher wrong !)
Then one night we watched an interview on Australian 60 Minutes about unschooling families, here and in the USA. When it was finsihed my Daughter turned around to me and simply said, “Mum, we can do this” .. I couldn’t stop my tears. I think the relief that I felt was the most over-riding emotion that I had ever felt in that particular moment. So She and I, and Her Dad sat and talked and eventually decided that we would homeschool. I could see in her face the weight just lift from her shoulders…I researched what I had to do legally in my State of Australia and printed off and filled out all relevant paperwork…. only to slowly let that ride while we deschooled, which eventually led us to unschooling. At present her loves are, writing, photography, lego, minecraft, making videos, and just living in the moments of each day…. but I see all the learning that is going on with all that she does.
I now have a child who is no longer stressed and anxious. A child who would fake illness to get out of school, a child who eventually manifested illnesses due to the stress and anxiety, which led to seeing a child psychologist for a time. A child who would cry and beg me not to send her to school.
Now I have a child who is growing in leaps and bounds in her passion for writing, and who is extremely comfortable in her own skin. A child who is gaining confidence in talking with people that she meets for the first time. a child who is happy and bubbly and vibrant.
I understand more and more each day what a mainstream school environment can do to a child who is sensitive, but not even that, just the whole idea of making little people conform and do what they are told, when they are told, is frightening.
I think I have answered the questions you have asked ?! LoL Thank you again for your invaluable website 🙂
Hi Teena,
What beautiful answers! I got goosebumps at “Mum, we can do this.” And I love your descriptions of your daughter now. Just lovely.
And I’m happy my info has helped along the way. 🙂
We are newish to homeschooling (pulled kids out in Sept). My extended family is packed with teachers, education majors, pro-academics zealots, professors, doctors, nurses, and just plain stuck-in-traditional-education-mindsets! Phew! Need I state that our pulling the kids from school was shocking. Of course, that’s only the beginning because the fam knows nothing (nor could they begin to understand) of the kids being deschooled, and my pull toward unschooling. It just makes the most sense (15 books, 20 blogs & countless websites/articles later)! I am thankful for your blog, Pam, and this Joseph Campbell analogy is the best one yet! Noticing that the world around me is pale and lifeless has been very difficult — I wish everyone saw learning the way Holt did! I don’t want to compare my kids to any one else’s– homeschooled or not– but the contrast is extreme and traditional teaching just seems pointless now.
I love how you describe your “pull toward unschooling,” Heather. And I so remember the feeling that the world was becoming paler version of what I’d known, while this new world of unschooling was becoming more and more vibrant. That gets better over time. 🙂
And that’s definitely a full house of traditional mindsets you have in your extended family there! LOL! You’re right, there’s no need for them to know the details.
Wishing you lots of fun with your kids!
Hi Pam!
I’m really glad that I subscribed to your newsletter as I’m on a break from Facebook and would have missed all of these great posts. I love the idea of comparing our journeys to a hero’s journey! What a cool idea.
My kids are 8 years old (daughter) and 5 years old (son). Neither have ever been in daycare or school.
1. What spurred you to begin exploring unschooling?
And 2. Was there a person or moment that heralded your call to the adventure of unschooling?
When my daughter was 1 year old I was exploring the idea of non-punitive parenting (ala Alfie Kohn) I experimented with using “Time-outs” but somehow because I was drawn to gentle/peaceful parenting found that there were people who believed that we didn’t need to and actually should NOT punish our children! How novel – and what a relief. Much more natural to me (as I’m a “softie”)
Anyway, I found Naomi Aldort’s book – Raising our children, Raising ourselves. I loved the book, but the truly life impacting part came from reading her biography. I read that her children were “unschooled”. “What the heck is THAT?!” I thought. My interest was immediately piqued and I got googling. (This was in 2007 and I still hardly spent any time on the computer – I would check my email and then wonder what I should do…)
I quickly found Sandra Dodd’s page and Always Learning yahoo list-serve and reading about unschooling became a daily practice for years. So I learned how to spend hours on the computer to! I am so glad I found it when my kids were babies.
3. Or was it an internal shift that had you considering this new world?
My whole world was turned upside down – In an amazing and beautiful way though! My mind and heart were on fire for it from the start. In fact I’ve written before about how finding unschooling was one of my biggest “awakenings” in my life, ever. Learning to question school as the norm was a huge internal shift and has led me to question everything and not just accept anything “as is” “just because that’s how everyone does it.”
My husband wasn’t as thrilled with my discovery at first. 🙂 Luckily, Sandra also gives really solid and valuable advice on marriage and how important our relationships are to our kids, so we have navigated things fairly well and now he is very supportive of home and unschooling.
4. Were you already homeschooling when something triggered you to explore learning beyond a curriculum?
My kids have always been home and unschooled. (Well technically this is my son’s first year as “kindergarten” age)
I was a teacher and NEVER wanted to create school at home. I was so happy to leave teaching! As much as I was good at it and loved the children – it was a very stressful job. So I tell people that if I wanted my kids to experience school, I’d send them to school.
If you can’t tell, I absolutely adore Unschooling.
Hi Susan!
I loved reading about your journey! I too found Sandra Dodd’s info so helpful when I was first exploring unschooling. And yes, just being prodded to question school as the norm opened a floodgate of thinking and shifting. Awesome.
I love how your enthusiasm for unschooling bubbles through your words. 🙂
My husband’s grandfather was also a Joseph Campbell – although the child rearing philosophy of our Joseph Campbell was, well, let’s say a little more mainstream, to be polite.
We are new unschoolers this school year. Our children are 10 and 7 now so each has been through between 2 and 5 years of traditional school. In hindsight, I see we were meant to be unschoolers all along but we needed to really pay close attention to our children to realize they were telling us this. Our first daughter refused all normal baby things – sleeping, baby swings, car seat, crib, side car crib, to only be happy either sleeping right by my side or as I gratefully discovered a few long weeks later, in a sling on me. This was our first collision with parenting in a different way than the mainstream since I was told how much I would spoil her, how I would never have any time for me, etc etc. All of the advice sounded wrong for me and my family. I spent the first few years of our lives together worried I was doing the wrong thing. My second daughter was born on our living room floor after about 20 minutes of labour – another sign of a strong personality asserting herself! As school approached, I was apprehensive but at that time I thought the only homeschooling option was home at school with me as the dreaded teacher. So we did school and she hated it. I left her crying in the schoolroom for several weeks, it slowly got better and finally in grade 2 she “got used to it.” Still, her sister went to kindergarten, I thought it would be different. She hated it too. More tears but this time it didn’t stop. All of kindergarten, she cried before and after school. Grade 1 was better, she had also gotten used to it but by this time we were questioning why was school so hard on them? I volunteered as much as I can and watched the classes and saw how the teachers taught and I was horrified. This was grades 1 and 4 and I saw shaming, using candy as rewards, lots of other bribery and most of all I saw conformity. Any colouring outside the lines is not allowed and my kids are pretty outside the line sorta kids!
We needed to find something different, there was no way around it. We researched homeschooling together, the whole family and sort of stumbled upon unschooling. It was like all four of us together went “aha!” We dove into it headfirst and it has been a chaotic path to say the least. However, we are so happy! I have moments where I wish I had never made my girls go to public school, but it is done and I realize the up side is they will never ask me to ‘try’ school! Been there, done that, decided on a better plan.
I love your site, Pam, I am so grateful that you are here with such wonderful information to share.
Such a powerful story, Tamara.
There are many of us who were led to discover unschooling through our children’s school experiences. I love that we were listening to them. 🙂
And thanks, I’m glad you’ve found my site helpful!
Take care.