Jessica Hughes and her husband, Micah, have three children, ages 11 to 18. When their kids were younger, they were homeschooling with a curriculum but they eventually found their way to unschooling. We talk about that journey, what you can do when you feel caught up in everyday “struggles,” supporting your husband’s journey, shifting away from fear, how unschooling has helped their family heal, and lots more!
Questions for Jessica
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family?
How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?
I love hearing what unschooling kids are getting up to. Can you give us a snapshot of your children’s current interests and goings on?
When newer unschooling parents ask what to do about the every day struggles they’re having with their children, often the advice is basically to “stop struggling.” That can be a hard concept to grasp at first, though. How did you work through it?
Can you share some ways you helped your husband move away from conventional parenting? Sometimes it helps to remember to treat our spouses with as much care as we do our children, doesn’t it?
I love this quote from part 8 of your unschooling journey series: “If I had to guess, I’d say 99.99999% of the fear I experience as a parent comes from focusing on the adult I want to create instead of the child I have.” How do you shift away from fear?
How has unschooling helped your family heal?
Links to things mentioned in the show
Pam’s blog review of Homeschooled Teens
pick up the ebook of Homeschooled Teens: 75 young people speak about their lives without school from your favourite online retailer
Jessica’s son really enjoys playing and programming in Roblox
Part 8 of Jessica’s Our Unschooling Journey blog series on Steemit (includes links to the first 7 posts)
Episode Transcript
I’m listening to this with the kids. Couldn’t wait till we finish to say thanks for all the insights and strategies for coping with unhelpful/antiquated thoughts and habits! It’s been very affirming and helpful. I especially liked how you made it clear that sometimes we are tipping the scales in favor of trivialities like clean bed rooms to the cost of incredibly important things like our relationships. I asked my oldest if he keeps his room clean because of pressure from us or because he likes it that way. After some discussion I was happy to find it seems to be mostly, if not all, from intrinsic motivation.
Where you talked about saying sorry for repeating mistakes from your childhood, I paused it and said the same goes for me to the kids and they seemed to appreciate it.
Thanks again!
You’re very welcome, Daniel!
And how cool that you’re listening with the kids, and chatting with them about some of the topics that come up. I love that! 🙂
Great episode. I feel like this is one I can share with friends who really do not know much about unschooling and who are stuck in the common power paradigm.
Great idea, Calla! 🙂