Sue Patterson joins me to talk about how the idea of “perfect” can get in the way of living our best unschooling life. We touch on comparisons, tough times, the personal work involved, the gifts that these choices bring, and lots more!
Discussion Points
Let’s start with the genuine excitement that bubbles up when we first discover and start exploring unschooling. No school schedules and homework battles? Connected and respectful relationships with our kids? Having fun? Sounds amazing! It can seem almost Utopian, can’t
it?
As we continue to learn about unschooling and shift our relationship dynamics, we also need to take a deeper dive into what we think unschooling looks like. That Utopian lens begins to fall away. We’re real people, with different personalities and interests. Life has real ups and
downs and challenges. As we read about or listen to unschooling parents sharing their experiences, we begin to more clearly recognize the personal and parenting work that weaves through their stories. Life isn’t “perfect.” It’s time to stop using that ideal as a goal, isn’t it?
There’s something else that may come up as we dive into the personal work and self- awareness that deschooling asks of us. For some, delving into those depths can bring up challenges and even trauma stemming from our experiences growing up. That can be a surprise, can’t it? Sometimes it can feel like deschooling is easier for everyone else.
We’ve talked a lot about how life isn’t “perfect” and how striving for that ideal can get in our way. But there are definitely advantages to the unschooling lifestyle when it comes to moving through challenging times. I thought it’d be great to wrap up our conversation talking about
some of the advantages we’ve seen.
Things mentioned in the episode
Find Sue’s other podcast episodes here
Sue’s daughters’ podcast episodes, Growing Up Unschooling with Katie Patterson and Growing Up Unschooling with Alyssa Patterson
Sue’s website UnschoolingMom2Mom and her Facebook group
Episode transcript
==Why don’t you just tell some of the horror stories?” Why would we do that?==
I would guess that most research projects (including qualitative) requires one negative example. The “Class Dismissed” film had an artist who was critical of her unschooling parents for introducing only the artistic path despite her success in starting her own ugly doll business as a teen. The documentary sparked a very interesting multigenerational discuss in our unschooling family.
Sometimes even the “horror” stories contain valuable learning for us as a community.
Hi Aleta, I agree that “horror” stories can be valuable to others on their unschooling journey. And I do share some of the things I wish I had done differently with clients and in more private groups of unschooling families. I’m pretty sure I’ve shared some things that didn’t go well on Pam’s podcasts in the past, because I’m not a secretive person by nature.
That being said, I don’t feel like my family is a research project. We’re just one family, one mom’s opinions about this unconventional life.
Society – even the homeschooling community and the hybrid community – are quick to latch onto what they consider flaws with unschooling. I think of my explanations of how unschooling works – our experiences – as simply a voice to offset all the anti-unschooling comments that are EASILY found in hundreds of places. I don’t need to share negative interpretations, because the rest of the world is going to do that on their own without any help from me!
What I *can* offer are stories of how unschooling works and encouragement for people who have heard those “horror” stories but aren’t considering unschooling as an option because of them.