Marcella O’Brien joins me this week. Marcella is an unschooling mom of three boys. Her grown sons, Jack and Sean, joined me to share their experiences back in episode 181, so it was such a treat to hear Marcella’s journey. She was also a public school teacher and still tutors math which led to a fascinating conversation about her observations around math in school verses unschooling. With toes in both worlds, her unique perspective really lends some amazing insights to a subject that comes up a lot for new unschoolers. Her journey as a mom working together with her husband and boys to find the best path for their family is inspiring!
Questions for Marcella
Can you share with us a bit about you and your family? What is everyone into right now?
How did you discover unschooling and what did your family’s move to unschooling look like?
You’re also a math tutor, so I’d love to dive into that topic with you! First, let’s talk about the conventional way math is taught in schools. You have a unique perspective as a tutor to see how that teaching process plays out for students trying to understand math concepts. What have you seen?
Now let’s dive into exploring math through unschooling. In unschooling circles, we talk about how kids can learn math concepts through everyday living. I’d love to know how you’ve seen that play out. Has that been your experience as well?
Your two older sons, Jack and Sean were on the podcast last year and I really enjoyed hearing about their experiences growing up unschooling, especially through the teen years and college. I’d love to hear your perspective on those years! What strikes you as you look back on them now?
You’re still unschooling with your youngest. What’s your favourite thing about the flow of your days right now?
Things mentioned in the episode
EU181: Growing Up Unschooling with Jack & Sean O’Brien
Mary Griffith’s book, The Unschooling Handbook
Paul Lockhart’s essay, “A Mathematician’s Lament”
Episode Transcript
Can you elaborate, or direct me to maybe a podcast that you’ve done about this topic, where you discuss at length what the real difference is in “not doing school” vs embracing unschooling? I feel like I’m stuck in a place, where I psychologically, and emotionally, fully embrace unschooling, but in the day to day with my kids (ages 10 & 12) I feel like we are just skipping school, or not doing school. This feeling makes Me, uncomfortable, and anxious, Especially with my 12-year-old. I feel like as he is getting older I am feeling the need to do some more formal learning Particularly with math and English. My kids tend to be ones that resist everything suggested (very much PDA tendencies – neurodivergent ), have no idea what they would like to do with their time, don’t want to meet new people or try new things, so it feels like I am either forcing them to do or try some thing, or just sitting at home. With their free time, if friends are at school and not an option, they prefer to be on their devices. My daughter plays a lot of Roblox games (could do this literally all day and only come out of her room to eat), and my son mainly watches YouTube or TikTok shorts. For him, it honestly feels like mindless stuff, that does not help with any sort of independent or intellectual growth. I can at least see some value in the Roblox games my daughter plays. This all leads to me wanting to fully embrace unschooling but feeling stuck in a place of feeling like we just “aren’t doing school”, but haven’t replaced it with anything that is contributing to them growing as an individual and finding some sense of self .
Hi Erin!
These thoughts certainly bubble up at times during the journey. And ‘back to school’ time is a biggie!
Our theme this month on the Network is Not Back to School. It can sometimes help to bring in supportive energy when we are feeling off. We also have the Unschooling Wobbles course in the Living Joyfully Shop.
I’ll give some thought to some podcasts that might help. I think most are relevant to this and many of the Q&A episode speak to this feeling.
I find it’s a time to lean in and connect. Instead of jumping to “formal learning”, which is certainly an option, it might be fun to play with bringing other things into the family. Brainstorming together about places to go, things to bring in, fun to be had together. Especially, if you have PDA tendencies involved, moving to a more directive approach can create a lot of friction.
I found that when I dove into what my kids were interested in, I could see threads that I could bring in from other sources that connected. And it was also helpful to realize the seasons of things. We definitely had cocooning seasons and then really outward, active seasons. It’s easier to look back now, than in the moment but I have seen it over and over, not just in my family but in the hundreds and hundreds of unschooling families I have known and worked with over the years.
So, doing my work to keep myself regulated and connected was what made the biggest difference. Looking for patterns and finding ways to see the beauty in the life we were creating.
And remember there is no, one right way! You can play and try all kinds of things and see what works best for your family! ~Anna